Theodore was a simple man with regular
habits. He didn’t like unnecessary display
and had a strong opinion about people
who did. As shy as he was, he often found
himself at podiums, delivering speeches
about a topics on which he had no
expertise or, worse, encyclopedic knowledge
of misunderstood concepts. At his father’s
funeral he submitted a thesis declaring
earth to be flat, unmoving, the center of
the universe, and only 13,500 years old.